Forget-Me-Not
by glitteringeva
Summary: Yang doesn't know why she feels so drawn to the necklace she finds in a tiny antique store, but it seems oddly familiar and suddenly she doesn't know what to believe anymore. Can you fall in love with someone you have never met? Someone you don't even know exists? Can she live with the truth that waits to be uncovered by her? - Bumblebee, Modern AU, T for all the angst
1. Chapter 1

The store looked like it had been abandoned years ago. Yang could barely see through the shop window because apparently no one had cleaned it for at least a decade, only silhouettes of vases and chandeliers pressing against the dirty glass. "What the hell do you want in there?" she asked.

"Well, you see a rundown pile of trash," Coco said, taking her sunglasses off. "I see a goldmine. That store owner probably has no idea how to sell the few good things that are definitely hiding in there, and no one who is looking for what I'm looking for would ever set a foot in there. Which means that I'm going to be the first to discover some real vintage treasures."

Yang sighed. The shopping trip had tired her out already, she hadn't had lunch yet and the store looked like it was going to change her body's mind about dust allergies. "Do we really have to go in there?"

"Do you want to wait outside?"

"No, it will probably start to rain any minute. But please make it a quick one."

"I promise it will be worth it. Maybe I'll find a birthday present for you."

The store looked even worse inside. It was dark and cramped, shelves full of old stuff that had no particular order. The dust told her that most items hadn't been moved in years. Behind the counter sat an old man with grey hair, staring at them for a second before he continued to read his newspaper.

"Look at this," Coco said, pointing at one of the shelves. Someone had spread necklaces on it, but it looked like the remains of a bargain table after Black Friday, as if many hands had moved the necklaces around, entangled them with each other and left them for someone else to clean up the mess. "I'm sure there's a real treasure in here."

"Rather looks like –" She stopped when one of the necklaces caught her eye. It was a small golden pendant with a yellow stone in the middle, attached to a thin golden chain. Suddenly she had forgotten what she had wanted to say. Something about it seemed so familiar it hurt, like something she had always known but just forgotten about for a while.

"Like what?" Coco asked.

Yang stretched out her hand as if someone might take the necklace away from her forever if she didn't touch it immediately. Her heart was pounding fast and she almost thought she wouldn't make it, but then her fingers –

 _"_ _No, stop it." She laughs and I can't stop looking at her. The way her hair falls spreads on the bed like black silk, the pale skin of her bare legs, the way my sweater is way too big on her. I want to capture that moment forever because sometimes I'm scared it might slip through my fingers and be gone before I got a chance to truly realise how much I love her._

 _"_ _Wanna see?" I ask and sit down on the bed next to her. She takes the camera out of my hand and clicks through the pictures._

 _"_ _I look horrible," she says._

 _"_ _You mean gorgeous and beautiful." I try not to pull her hair when I lean over her and brace myself on my hands on the bed next to her head._

 _She blushes and puts the camera down before she looks at me. "I didn't even brush my hair yet."_

 _"_ _Unbelievably beautiful," I say and lean in closer. Her body pressing close against mine fills me with a warmth I can't imagine living without anymore, her fingers are soft against my cheek and when I kiss her it feels like the warmth turns into an all-consuming fire deep inside of me that threatens to burn every bit of me, but I'm alright with that._

"Amber, good choice."

Yang looked up. For a moment it was hard to remember where she was and a rest of the warmth still lingered in her, even after she found herself back in the store. It felt like for a second she had forgotten about everything. "What?"

"The necklace." Coco carefully detangled the necklace from the others, Yang hadn't even realised she had pulled her hand back. "It's pretty. I told you you'd find a treasure in here. Do you want to buy it?"

She nodded before she could even think about what had just happened. Looking at the necklace felt almost painful for a reason she couldn't quite grasp, but she also knew that she just couldn't leave it behind. She was scared to touch it when let Coco give it back to her, but nothing happened except the metal being cold against her skin.

She laid the necklace on the counter in front of the shopkeeper and was already fumbling for her purse with shaking hands before he had even put down his newspaper. "A hundred and twenty dollars," the man said.

She opened her purse and pulled out two ten dollar notes. "I don't have –"

"Oh, you're not going to just pay that," Coco said behind her. "A hundred and twenty dollars? Are you kidding me? This isn't even real gold, and if it was it wouldn't be worth more than fifty dollars."

"A hundred and twenty dollars or leave without it," the man said.

"Do you accept credit cards?" Yang asked.

"Oh, come on. No way anyone is gonna buy it for that price in this store. How long has it been here yet? The necklace lying around here won't pay your rent, but fifty dollars today will."

"Cash only." The man picked up his newspaper again. "Seventy dollars."

"I don't have that much cash," Yang said, trying to remember how much money she had left on her bank account for this month. "Can I run and get some money real quick and you don't sell it to anyone before I come back?"

"I'm gonna close soon."

"Don't worry," Coco said, throwing a few dollar notes on the counter next to hers. "I told you I still need a birthday present for you."

"That's too much, I can't –"

"Then it's for your birthday and Christmas."

It took the shopkeeper awfully long to count the dollar bills, sort them into his register and put the necklace into a tiny pouch. Coco took the black velvet before Yang could. "Come on, let's go get lunch," she said before she gave the pouch to Yang with a playful bow. "Happy birthday and merry Christmas."

They got their usual seats by the window. Yang stared at the card for ages even though she knew it by heart already, feeling the warmth from before slowly fade away. What had even happened? It had seemed so real to her, for a moment she had completely forgotten about Coco, the store, everything around her, even herself, and now she couldn't help but to miss a woman that probably didn't even exist.

"Yang, what on earth is wrong with you?"

She looked up. Coco had leaned back in the old armchair she preferred over Yang's because she always said it was more comfortable, running her hand through her short hair. "Nothing, just… I don't know, I…" She didn't know what to say, but Coco would probably just think she was completely crazy. "Headache."

"Do you want to go home?"

"No, it's fine. I just need to eat and drink something and I'll be fine. I'll take the usual, grilled cheese sandwich and iced tea." She closed the menu. "Coco… thanks for the necklace. Really. I love it."

Coco smiled at her. "I'm glad you do. Amber works great with your eyes."

She felt like she was caught in an hour long déjà vu.

* * *

Yang's roommate for the new semester was an awkward athlete who was too nice to be true. She had apologised for being absent most of the time due to her training schedule and Yang was convinced Pyrrha was the jackpot of all the roommates she could have ended up with.

The pouch with the necklace was lying on her bedside table between a bag of lemon drops, tissues, the science fiction novel she was currently reading and an unholy amount of hair ties. It felt like as long as she didn't understand what had happened she also didn't know whether to be scared or not.

She still hesitated to look at the necklace again. It had been lying there for two days now, untouched and ignored, while Yang tried to concentrate on her college assignments and not google the symptoms of brain tumours. It was easy when Pyrrha was around, but right now it felt impossible not to stare at the pouch, still waiting to be opened again.

Eventually she sat up and reached for the pouch. She opened it and let the necklace drop on her bed next to her without touching it. It still felt painfully familiar, like an itch deep inside of her that she couldn't quite place. Maybe she had seen a similar necklace before. Maybe her mother had owned one like that and she had seen it during her childhood. She stretched out her hand but hesitated. Nothing had happened the second time she had touched it in the store though. Maybe it was just the stress.

Maybe she was just going crazy. She took a deep breath and reached for the necklace.

 _"_ _But it won't be a big wedding, promised?" She looks up from the broccoli she is chopping. "I don't need to invite everyone I've ever shared a room with."_

 _"_ _Don't worry. Only people we like and are close with. But those are going to have a hell of a good time." I stretch out on the sofa. Watching her wakes the urge in me to cross the distance between us and hug her, touch her and kiss every inch of her body, but I don't want to distract her right now. We have all the time in the world after all._

 _"_ _I didn't expect this to be so much work. Rather like a birthday party, just a bit bigger, you know? But then we suddenly need to think about decoration and dresses and… isn't this a bit much for just one day? But what if everyone is disappointed?"_

 _I sit up. The urge to hug her becomes almost unbearable. "I don't care what everyone else thinks. This is our day. If you want to get married in jeans and that ugly Christmas sweater I bought you last year then go for it."_

 _Her lips curl into one of those soft smiles that always drive me crazy, when she smiles even though she doesn't want to. "This is the first time you've ever admitted the sweater is ugly."_

 _"_ _Well, Christmas sweaters being ugly is kinda the point, isn't it?"_

 _She laughs and I can't help it but to get up, to cross the distance between our small living room and the kitchen area. "Don't distract me," she says before I can reach her. "I won't get dinner ready today if you do."_

 _I still reach out for her, wrapping my arms around her from behind, burying my face in her hair. "I love you," I whisper, feeling her laugh vibrate against my chest._

She didn't know how long she had been staring at the necklace in front of her, how long she was back and not standing in the kitchen anymore, if she had ever really been there. No, of course she hadn't. It felt like she was only slowly crawling back into her body, and with her all her memories. Her fingers were still resting on the cold metal of the necklace. She pulled them away and touched it again, but nothing happened.

Was it possible to dream without being asleep? Was it possible to be in love with someone who didn't even exist? Because when she thought about the dark haired woman it was hard not to feel that warmth filling her chest again.

Her phone buzzed. It took a moment before she could bring herself to move and open the message. _Library date in an hour? Really gotta finish that essay xxx_ , Coco wrote and Yang's hands were shaking when she hastily replied before Coco could come up with something better to do. She was probably going completely insane right now, and she at least didn't want to do it all on her own.

* * *

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Coco said as they walked up the stairs to the library. "Are you sure you didn't catch a cold? I should have brought you some tea instead of coffee."

"It's fine. I was tired anyway." She clung to her cup, trying to shake off the unsettling feeling that something fundamental had changed. "So we're doing a night shift today?"

"Well, I will. And I will also send you back to bed at some point because you really don't look too well today."

"I could really use a productive night because I'm so done with finishing my assignments last minute." She could also use the distraction, though she knew that she would probably spend most of her time in the library googling schizophrenia.

It was one of those old libraries that always made her feel like she didn't belong here because there was no way she could ever soak up that much knowledge. They sat down at one of the long tables in the middle. When she looked up she could see the milky windows in the ceiling. Sometimes it made her feel like she had fallen down a hole, sometimes it made her feel like she was in the middle of a busy bee stock when she sat here and watched people walk around the different floors above them, or lean against the balustrade and look down at the people studying down here.

She didn't even understand why her eyes were so drawn to her at first. She could only see dark hair falling down the back of someone wearing a black cardigan, standing right next to the balustrade on the second floor. There was nothing sticking out about her but then again there was, she just couldn't put her finger on it. Then she turned around.

Yang froze. It felt like her blood was rushing both ice cold and boiling hot through her veins. There was no doubt that it was her. The woman she had hugged in the kitchen and kissed in their bed, the one she had never seen before and who had suddenly appeared on her mind since she had touched the necklace.

"Yang?" Coco whispered when she got up, but even if Yang had had the time, she wouldn't have had any words to explain why she had to get up and sprint through the hall towards the staircase.

She almost ran over a man with a stack of books. A librarian hissed something when she ran past her all the way to the second floor. Her heart was pounding fast and her lungs were aching when she ran to where she had seen her.

She wasn't there.

"No", she whispered. She couldn't be gone. What if she had made it all up? What if she hadn't really seen anyone and was actually going crazy?

She ran through the aisles, but the woman was nowhere to be seen. When she reached the balustrade again she was out of breath, her heart pounding both from running and fear. She immediately saw her, down on the first floor, heading to the door. She could barely see her face when she walked through the door, but there was no doubt it was her. Deep in her heart there was no doubt.

The librarian grabbed her by her arm when she was about to run back downstairs. "Young girl, you can't run around like that in here."

"It's a matter of life and death," Yang said, trying to free herself from the librarian's grasp. "Please, I need to –"

"Everyone says that. Behave yourself or I will throw you out."

"I will, I promise." She had to force herself to slow down when the librarian finally let her go.

When Yang finally stepped outside she was gone. Yang looked around, the cool autumn air making her shiver, and she felt like screaming or crying or just breaking down.

"Yang, what the hell?"

She let herself sink down on the stairs, burying her face in her hands, trying to catch her breath.

"Really, Yang. What the hell is wrong?" Coco sat down next to her, resting her hand on her shoulder. "You just ran away without an explanation and… what happened?"

Yang took a deep breath. It was probably a stupid idea to talk about it, but if she couldn't trust Coco, who could she trust? And right now she didn't feel like she could even trust herself anymore. "You won't believe me", she said.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much for everyone who has left comments yet! I usually reply to them but I have no idea how to do that on this site yet. I don't understand this site. But anyway, I just wanted to say thank you because comments motivate me sooo much!

* * *

"Okay, this does sound crazy." Coco took a long sip from her cup of coffee. One thing Yang had always loved about her was that she could stay calm in almost every situation, and even now she didn't let herself get worked up by what she had told her. It made Yang feel like she hadn't lost all of her sanity. Only most of it.

"I don't know." Her coffee had gotten cold since she had started to explain. They were still sitting on the stairs in front of the library, but Coco had gone back inside to collect their things since. "It's crazy. I can't even explain it. I just knew there was no way I would leave the store without the necklace, even if I had to steal it, and I just knew it was her and that… shit, this really sounds crazy."

"Well, best case is we find out if she really exists," Coco said and pulled out her phone. "Maybe it was just a dream and she won't seem so familiar anymore once you meet her. If she doesn't exist your parents can still get you a good psychiatrist. What did she look like again?"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm using social media to find your mystery girlfriend. Give me a description."

"Are you posting that on Facebook?"

"Nah, messaging a friend. Description?"

"What am I supposed to say when… I mean what am I supposed to tell her why I've been looking for her?"

"You seem more worried about that than whether she actually exists or not."

"I mean I've seen her. Haven't you seen her when she left?"

"You've also seen other things. And no, I didn't, but I also didn't know what to look for. There were a lot of people and I just saw you running outside. Maybe she was there, maybe she wasn't."

"That was different." She sighed and took a sip of her cold coffee. "It was like I wasn't me anymore. I had forgotten about my whole life and I didn't even wonder why I was there, it was like… I just wasn't here."

"You really need more sleep, Yang. Now tell me what she looks like. I'll text a friend who knows basically everyone here. If that doesn't work I'll just post it in one of the university groups."

She sighed. There was no way to stop Coco from dedicating her time to that search now. "She has long black hair. Not curly, but not completely straight, with waves, you know? She's a bit shorter than me I think, pale, and her face is… I don't know, pretty? She's really pretty. She was wearing black, I think she wears a lot of black."

"Maybe we should just hang out in the art department for a bit. Okay, this university is big, but not that big. Maybe I can get Velvet to give me access to her picture database, then we can go through the group shots of the departments, pictures from events and clubs, all that." She looked at her. "If she exists we're gonna find her."

"If…"

"Yeah. And right now you look like you really need some sleep. You should go back to your room."

"I'm not sure how I'm supposed to fall asleep now."

"You will be. Drink one of your roommate's horrible teas if you have to. I will come over tomorrow morning and we'll have breakfast together, okay? Maybe we'll already know more by then."

"Okay." She took a deep breath. "Thank you. Thank you for not convincing me I'm completely insane."

Coco smirked. "There are more interesting explanations than that. Come on, I want you to be well rested tomorrow."

* * *

As soon as they close the door behind us the darkness swallows me. I can't see a thing and knowing that she's right here makes it worse. I don't know how far she's away, if I will touch her when I move, and I feel like the smell of her hair lingers in the tiny closet they locked us in.

"This is awkward," she whispers. I don't know why she whispers, but it feels more private that way, less like a bunch of people are waiting outside, knowing full well what could happen in here.

"I've never done this," I say.

"Seven minutes in heaven?" she asks. "Or making out with someone in a closet?"

"Any of it. I've never kissed anyone." It feels bold to admit, but the darkness makes me feel safe.

"Oh", she says. "I mean… usually you're so flirty all the time. I just assumed… I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay." I shrug even though she can't see it. "I mean you don't go running around college telling everyone you've never even kissed anyone. It's not even like it bothers me or like I don't want to kiss anyone, I was just never in a situation where I thought oh yeah, I want to kiss that person right now. It's not a big deal, honestly."

"Why did you agree to play this game then?"

I'm so nervous I feel like I can't breathe. "Maybe I'm in that situation right now." It sounds so stupid, but then I feel her fingertips on my cheeks.

Her lips are soft and warm, a warmth that spreads through my veins until I'm almost scared it might burn me. I don't know how I ever thought I wouldn't know what to do once I ever got to kiss someone, because right now I know exactly what to do. How to kiss her back, how to run my fingers through her hair. Suddenly I know what people like so much about this.

The knock on the door comes way too soon and we pull apart. I don't know what I look like, but I know that something deep inside of me has changed. Like a dam that has been broken. I don't even how she feels for me, if this was just a thing she wanted to do for a friend, but I know that I can't go back to how things were before now, and it scares me.

"No, just let her sleep. I can just leave her a note to call me when she wakes up."

"Sure, come inside. Do you need a piece of paper?"

Yang stared at the ceiling. It took her a moment to remember where she was, who she was. She turned her head. The pouch with the necklace was still lying on the bedside table where she had left it. Was it just a dream? But it had felt so real. Too real for a dream.

"Are you awake?" Coco whispered and when Yang looked up she was standing right in front of her bed.

"Yeah. Sorry, I just woke up."

"I didn't mean to wake you up," Coco said. "Do you want to sleep a bit longer?"

"No. No, it's fine. I wanted to get up way earlier anyway." She didn't even know what time it was. She sat up. Her head was aching and she felt like she hadn't slept at all, but the memory of the kiss still lingered on her lips. She had kissed people before and the breakup from her last boyfriend had only been six or seven months ago, but no kiss had ever quite felt like this one. Maybe this was the most tragic past of the mess she was in right now, that the best kiss she had ever had was one that hadn't even been real.

"I need to leave for my morning run," Pyrrha said. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah, have fun." Yang pulled her knees to her chest. Was it bad if for a moment she had almost wished she hadn't woken up anymore?

"I'm treating you with breakfast in bed," Coco said when Pyrrha had closed the door behind her. "How are you feeling today?"

"I dreamed again," Yang said.

Coco pulled a chair close to Yang's bed and then placed some paper bags from the campus' bakery on it. "So they are dreams?"

"It didn't feel like a dream, but this time it happened without me touching the necklace." She watched Coco take two cups of coffee from Pyrrha's desk. She gave Yang one of them before she sat down next to her on the bed. "Did you finish your essay yesterday?"

"Yes. But let's get back to your mystery girlfriend. I've found a possible solution."

"Did you?" Yang raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah. We're going out tonight." Coco opened one of the bags. "Cinnamon roll?"

"How is that going to help?"

"Cinnamon rolls are sweet and delicious."

"No, I mean the going out part." She took one of the cinnamon rolls anyway. They were still warm.

"There's a party tonight. Officially to raise money for the library, unofficially it's just one of those parties everyone goes to, which is why I never go there. But it's the best chance we got. You won't get that many students in one place to check out anytime soon again, so we're gonna go there and see if we find your mystery girlfriend."

"What if she won't be there?"

"What if she is and you're not?"

"Touché." Yang leaned back. The thought of actually meeting her made her way too nervous all of a sudden. "Shit, what am I even going to say to her?"

"You ask her out and I'm going to pick you an outfit that she can't say no to."

* * *

Yang's outfit was a compromise. The tight black dress Coco had picked, but she was wearing her yellow zip up hoodie with it. The party was spread over three different fraternity houses that were all next to each other and all of a sudden she thought she knew why Coco never went to that kind of event. She saw the first person throw up while she was still standing on the street in front of the first house. The front yard reminded her of a battlefield.

"Let's see if we're gonna find her here," Coco said. She was wearing jeans and a plain white shirt, an outfit that was according to her supposed to show how little she cared about this event and that she neither wanted to interact with anyone nor wanted to get hit on. Yang still had doubts that everyone would read as much into her fashion statement as she did.

"I don't know. This doesn't feel like a place she'd go to."

"Suddenly you know that about her?"

Yang shrugged. "It's just… I can't explain it."

"Let's go inside. It's your best chance."

It was worse inside. Yang had wanted to look at every single person's face, but right now it was hard to even find her way through the crowd without losing Coco. "I'm too sober for this," she said.

"Let's get us drinks."

The bar was a dining table full of bottles, half empty cups and popcorn that someone had spread over it all like confetti. Yang let Coco mix the drinks while she looked around, but she didn't even see anyone who resembled the woman. Only drunk college students dancing or making out. Even the music was terrible.

"Let's go upstairs," Coco said. She gave Yang one of the cups. "Everyone who doesn't like big crowds always hides upstairs."

Coco was ruthless. She opened every closed door, interrupting a couple while getting undressed and two sleeping guys cuddling on a bathroom floor. At the end of the hallway was another common room, filled with people but less than downstairs, and most of them definitely less drunk.

"Spin the bottle?" Coco said. "Are we fifteen again?"

"Seven minutes in heaven," a guy with blue hair said and a cold shiver ran down Yang's spine.

"Oh, sorry." Coco took a sip from her cup. "Are we twelve again?"

"Come on, have a seat." A girl with orange hair who looked familiar smirked at them. "Maybe this is your turn?"

"I'll pass," Coco said.

"Let's try to –" Yang stopped. It was beyond her how she hadn't seen her right away, how she had been able to look at anyone but her. She had turned her back towards her and everything Yang could see was her hair falling down on her lilac sweater, but she knew it was her. She just knew.

"Try the other houses? Yeah, good idea," Coco said. "Come on, let's go."

Yang shook her head and then reached for Coco's arm. She didn't know what to say, how to tell her it was her.

But she understood. "Oh," Coco said. "Oh, well. I guess we're doing that then." She took Yang's hand and then pulled her towards the circle. The orange haired girl was still holding the bottle in her hand.

"You know the rules?" she said. "Seven minutes in heaven for whoever the bottle points at."

Yang sat down next to Coco. It was hard not to look at her, but she felt like if she did it would be too obvious. She felt like if she did she would never be able to look away again. Instead she stared at the orange haired girl (she was sure she knew her, maybe one of Pyrrha's friends?) and the bottle she was putting the floor between them. With a twist of her hand it began to spin.

She knew. She knew the bottle would point at her, even before it did. A cold shiver ran down her spine. The situation felt so oddly familiar, like a long déjà vu she couldn't wake up from. She sipped on her drink and the sweet alcohol left a bitter taste on her tongue. How many coincidences until she had to admit that something about this situation was odd?

Coco nudged her with her elbow. "Maybe you're lucky," she whispered.

The bottle was spinning once again. It felt like it was turning around and around forever, a state of anticipation and uncertainty that made her so nervous she felt sick. Every time it spun past her she was almost sure it would pick someone else, that this couldn't be, that this was one coincidence too much.

The bottle stopped.

"Blake!" the orange haired girl gasped.

The name let warm shivers run down her spine. Yang looked up. For the first time they were looking at each other, and it felt like she had never felt this real, this alive. She looked just like she remembered, painfully familiar. Blake. Of course that was her name. It felt like everything was clicking into place.

How many coincidences?

"Come on, claim your prize!" the blue haired guy said and Coco nudged Yang with her elbow again until she finally found the courage to move. Her knees felt weak when she got up.

A sign that read Seven Minutes in Heaven in someone's messy handwriting was hanging on the door the orange haired girl opened for them. The closet had a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling and surprisingly much space between boxes, a vacuum cleaner and stacks of old textbooks.

This time the light didn't go out when they closed the door behind them. Yang leaned against one of the shelves and awkwardly ran her fingers through her hair. "Well, here we are."

"This is awkward," she said and looked down. "I've never done something like that, my friend dragged me along."

"Never done seven minutes in heaven?"

"Anything of this." She blushed and then let herself sink down until she sat on the floor, back leaned against the door. "Oh, this is really awkward. I don't even know your name."

"Yang." She sat down as well. Their feet were almost touching and she couldn't stop tracing the soft lines of Blake's face with her eyes. "It's only as awkward as we make it."

"I'm Blake", she said and smiled softly. Yang wanted to drown in that smile. "So… what do we do now?"

"I don't know. Talk until they let us out?" The thought of kissing her made her too nervous to offer it, her hands already sweating. Also she didn't want to push herself upon her, didn't want to make this more awkward for her than it already was. Nothing scared her more than that this could be it, all the interactions they would have until they disappeared out of each other's lives again. "You're a student here, right?"

"Yeah. Law student actually."

"That sounds rough," Yang said. "Lots of work, isn't it?"

"Yes, and so competitive. Actually I switched, I was a literature major before, but I thought law is something I can actually make a difference with. I miss people just being nice to each other, though. Helping each other with assignments. Now I'm stuck between people with fancy clothes who rip pages out of textbooks in the library so others can't finish their essays."

"Ouch. But you're still doing it, even with all this. That's pretty admirable." She tried to wipe the sweat off her hands without Blake noticing.

"If you say so." She shrugged. "I just feel like I have to do… something, you know? But what do you do?"

"Mechanical engineering. It's quite a lot of work, but most of it is interesting at least."

Blake chuckled. It made her nose crinkle in the most adorable way. "Ambitious."

"That sort of stuff comes way easier to me than law or anything like that. I don't think I could do that."

"It's easier when you know what you're doing it for."

"I wish I had that kind of drive."

"Maybe you'll find it."

She smiled at her. It was hard not to. "Do you –"

The door opened again and Blake almost fell backwards against the blue haired guy. "How boring," he said. "Okay, time's up, make space for people who actually want to make out."

Yang always wanted to protest. No, it couldn't be over yet. Not before they had kissed, not before she knew she would see her again. Yang hastily got up, straightening up her dress. Just a few more minutes. Please.

Blake had already gotten up when Yang reached the door. The blue haired guy had already turned around and left them alone again, maybe to spin the bottle again. She realised she had stepped too close when Blake didn't leave the closet right away, her hand on the doorknob, her hair tickling Yang's cheek. "They're all staring at us," she whispered.

She was close enough to get distracted by the scent of her hair. "Don't worry. We'll be interesting for like five minutes, not longer."

"I think I just wanna leave."

"Then leave. The party is lame anyway."

"Yeah." She shook her head for a moment. Soft hair tickling Yang's cheek and sending shivers down her spine. "I'll just… I guess I'll just go home."

She didn't want her to leave, but seeing Blake being so uncomfortable made her feel bad for ever wishing to end up in the closet with her. "Maybe I'll see you around," she said.

"Yeah." Blake turned around and smiled at her. "Maybe."

When she left Yang could still feel the familiar warmth in her chest, like a soft blanket hugging her from the inside. She never wanted to live without it again.


	3. Chapter 3

"You know, I'll just go and tell Pyrrha to rent out your bed," Coco whispered. "You basically live here now."

Yang closed the book in front of her. Right now she couldn't focus on it anyway. "I honestly never got that much shit done without being pressured for deadlines."

"You just hope your mystery girlfriend will show up again, don't you?"

"Shut up, I'm studying."

"Well, at least she's not distracting you from your classes too much." Coco closed her laptop. "I'm gonna head home anyway. See you later."

Yang sighed. Her neck was hurting from sitting at the desk for too long and for the first time since starting university she was running out of assignments to finish, but this was the only idea she had. The law department had their books on the second floor where she had first seen her, and as a law student she could barely avoid the library. It was her best chance apart of waiting in front of every law lecture she might have taken this semester, and that probably would have been creepy.

So she sat here, studying to keep herself from staring at the door the entire time. She had picked a seat that made her easy to spot for everyone entering the library, but she didn't even know what she'd say once she saw Blake, if she'd say something, if Blake would even recognise her. She forced herself to open the book again to stop herself from repeating the same thoughts and questions in her mind over and over again.

"Hey," someone whispered right next to her. The voice was soft like velvet, sending warm shivers down her spine before she had even realised who it was. She almost didn't dare to look up. "Is that seat taken?"

"No," Yang hastily replied and moved a few of her books to make space for her. "I… hey."

Blake was wearing a black sweater with a cat's face printed up front, the collar from her blouse sticking out from beneath. It looked adorable on her. "How are you?" she whispered.

"As well as you are when you're stuck in the library for the entire day." She shrugged. "And you?"

"I've been here for a while too. I was just about to leave when I saw you."

But she hadn't, just to talk to her. Yang hoped she didn't blush right now. "I could use a break," she said.

"We can get a cup of coffee if you want."

"Yeah, sure!" She was almost sure she had said it too enthusiastically, even though she still tried to whisper. "I just gotta pack my laptop."

The sky was clouded and grey when they left the library. Yang buried her hands in the pockets of her jeans because she was scared Blake would notice how nervous she was. "So did you get everything done for today?" she asked. University seemed like an easy topic to build on, not too personal and at least not as generic as the weather.

"I should probably go through some notes tonight to prepare for tomorrow's lecture, but yeah. Pretty much." Blake shrugged. She was wearing a big black handbag and Yang felt almost too shabby next to her with her ripped jeans and flannel shirt, too casual. It was easy to imagine her in a court room, but then again not. There was something fragile about her, but also an inner strength that was both endearing and confusing. It made Yang want to both protect her and lean her, and she didn't know what to do with that feeling.

"Sounds like a lot of pressure."

"Yeah, but I wanted it that way. I mean I've already made my parents pay for me changing my major, so I want to get through it was quickly as possible."

"My parents are super chilled about all of this." Yang opened the door to the coffee shop for Blake. It wasn't as full as she would have expected. "They're glad I made it into university at all."

"Was there a chance you wouldn't?"

"No, not really, but they just always set the bar really low. There never was much of a chance for me to be a disappointment." The stopped in front of the counter. "Do you know what you want?"

"Tea. Oh no, let me have this," she said when Yang reached for her backpack and pulled out her own purse. "The iced tea is good if you wanna try it."

"I never had it," she said, trying not to think about what her paying meant. Was this a date? "Guess I'll have to try it then."

Blake smiled at her. "Okay then," she said and turned around to order. Yang took a bag of sugar because the ones they had here had little fortunes printed on them, but she didn't have time to look at it before Blake had already paid and they had to step aside to wait for their drinks, so she shoved it into the pocket of her jeans.

"Do you want to stay here or go somewhere else?" Yang asked.

"I really need some fresh air. Maybe we can walk around and see if we find a nice spot to sit down."

"Yeah, sounds good. I've been in there for way too long."

Blake took their drinks from the barista. She handed Yang her iced tea. For a brief moment her fingertips brushed over Blake's hand and –

"I don't want to get up," I say and pull the blanket over my head.

Her fingers run through my hair, softly massaging my sculp. "We have to get up eventually."

"What if I just refuse?" My head is resting on her bare stomach and I feel like I can't get enough of how her warm skin feels against my cheek.

"What about food? Are you never gonna eat again?" She laughs and it vibrates against my cheek.

"We'll order pizza and make them bring it to our bed."

"I need to get dressed." She's still laughing. She rarely ever laughs like that, without any hesitation, without holding back. So carelessly that for a moment I'm not worried whether the shadows will pull her back with icy claws or not.

"Let's go outside," she said.

Yang blinked. "Yeah… yeah. Sure." She tried to shake the sudden vision off, tried to ground herself in the present. The cup was cold against her hand, the smell of coffee comforting. She was here.

The sky outside threatened to ruin Yang's date that might not even be one. She sipped on her iced tea and was surprised that she didn't hate it. Yang felt like she had to say something witty, something that would make Blake want to see her again and prove that she was worth the effort, but she didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to look at her without blushing. The visions had been explicitly romantic before, but never that… sexual.

"I think it's starting to rain," Blake said when they were crossing the lawn, heading nowhere specifically.

"Are you sure?" Right after she had said it the first heavy raindrop hit her cheek. A second followed. "Oh, shit."

"The tree!"

They made it beneath the tree before everything the sky had been holding back over the last weeks came crushing down. Yang leaned against the tree and looked at Blake. "Okay, that was close."

"Maybe we should have stayed in the coffee shop, I'm sorry."

"No, don't worry." She smiled at her. "I like the smell."

"Petrichor."

"What?"

"That's what it's called. The scent of rain hitting the dry ground."

"I never knew there was a name for that." She closed her eyes for a moment. The sound of the rain that made everything else seem so far away, the scent, Petrichor, and Blake being here right next to her. It felt like for a moment everything had fallen into place, like she was where she was supposed to be.

The kiss was nothing more than a peck on her cheek, over before she could even realise what had happened. She opened her eyes and watched Blake stumble away from her. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry," she said, blushing in the most adorable way. "I just thought –" She stopped, looking down at her feet.

"No, don't… don't worry."

"I didn't mean to…" She bit her lip. Her nervousness made Yang want to pull her into her arms, anything to make it go away. She didn't know how much closeness would make her feel uncomfortable, so she just reached for her hand.

"I hope you meant to," she said and Blake looked up.

"No, I've just… now I've made everything awkward."

Yang was a bit taller than Blake, but Blake was wearing heels so they were almost the same height. She leaned closer and kissed the tip of Blake's nose. "And now?"

For a second she smiled, gone as quickly as it came. "You know, I never really… I'm not that experienced with relationships. I never got past the third date."

Yang desperately wanted to touch her face, but her hand was still holding Blake's and the other one her cup of iced tea. "Well, if you count the closet this is our second," Yang said. "Guess my chances aren't too bad. If you want that."

"Oh… oh, yeah, of course." Blake shook her head for a moment. "I'm really not good at this. I didn't mean to say that… I don't know, I thought it might bother people if I'm inexperienced."

"Why would it bother me?" She just wanted to get closer to her, to kiss her, but that decision belonged to Blake and it felt wrong to make that move just to see if she'd really want it afterwards.

"I probably just worry too much, I always do. I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"I mean would you want to go on a third date?"

For some reason it had always made Yang more confident when people were insecure around her. As if she had to make up for what they couldn't. "Yes, I do."

It took them too long to kiss, too long for Yang's taste. It was a back and forth of Blake moving closer and avoiding to look at her, Yang moving closer and eventually leaning forward to kiss her. For a moment she was afraid she might get caught up in another strange memory again, but this moment belonged to her only.

Blake's lips were so soft she just wanted to melt into them. It felt like in her memory, but this was real, and it wouldn't be over in a heartbeat. It was a soft kiss, leaving Yang to want more, but there was time for that, so much time. Despite the rain she felt nothing but warmth.

"It's awkward with a cup of tea in your hand," Blake said after a moment. She looked calmer now, and so beautiful. "I shouldn't have said that."

Yang laughed, pulling her hand away from Blake's to finally stroke her cheek. "It's kinda true though. I'll pick something where we'll have our hands free for the third date."

"You're gonna pick something, huh?"

"You can have the fourth date."

"Well, if we already have a fourth date I don't need to worry about messing it up on the third." She smiled softly. "I… I'll give you my number, okay?"

"Yeah, just probably somewhere a bit more dry. We can run through the rain and hide in one of the buildings until the rain stops."

"Sounds like a plan."

As soon as they stepped into the rain the heavy raindrops made Yang shiver, and as soon as they stepped into the rain their hands found each other again. It felt like for a moment everything had come into place. They ran over the lawn and Yang desperately tried not to spill her iced tea and not to slip on the wet grass, but the most important thing was not to let go of Blake's hand. They kissed again when they reached the sheltered house entrance of the most nearby university building, out of breath and both of them barely keeping themselves from laughing.

"I'll give you my phone, then you can type in your number. I don't remember mine," Yang said, but it took another kiss before she managed to actually pull it out.

She watched Blake for a moment while she typed in the number, the way her wet hair stuck to her forehead, her long, curved eyelashes and how her lips were still curled up in a smile. She buried her hand in the pocket of her jeans because she didn't know what to do with it. She found the bag of sugar again and pulled it out to read the fortune on it.

The end is near… and it is all your fault.

"I'll just call myself real quick from your phone, okay?"

Yang looked up. "Yeah, do that", she said, trying to forget about the feeling it had left her with, a shadow nagging at the back of her head. "That way I at least can't screw up my number and make you think I gave you a wrong number on purpose."

"Did you ever do that?"

"A lot of times." It was hard to keep brooding when she looked at her. Yang stepped away from Blake to throw the bag of sugar into a bin. When she turned back around Blake was handing her her phone. "So now I can text you all the time," she said.

"I hope you will."

Yang smiled. It was hard not to.


	4. Chapter 4

No date had ever made Yang as nervous as her sixth date with Blake. After Coco complaining for two solid weeks about not even knowing the girl Yang couldn't stop talking about she had finally given in and asked Blake if she was ready to meet her. She hadn't expected Blake to not only agree but also bring her own best friend in return. So now she was sitting in a diner next to Blake, Ilia sitting across the table and staring at her while Coco did the same with Blake. It felt like meeting the parents, only worse.

"Are you a cat person or a dog person?" Ilia asked.

"Dog person." Yang could see Ilia's gaze darken as soon as she had said it. "But I like cats too. We have some cats at home. That's why I'm bi after all."

Coco snorted like she always did when she neither approved nor disproved of Yang's puns, only Blake laughed a bit. Yang reached for her hand beneath the table. "Yang's gonna adopt five cats if Blake looks at her with puppy eyes," Coco said.

"Not bad." Yang smirked and dug her spoon into the cheesecake she was sharing with Blake. They both hadn't been able to pick between cheesecake and ice cream, so they were sharing both. "So you're a law student too?" Yang asked, looking at Ilia. She didn't know how to win her over, but that wouldn't keep her from trying.

"Yeah. Blake and I are the only sane ones out of all the law students. I'm not doing it to make a lot of money or because I come from a family of lawyers but because I want to use those skills to actually make a difference. You can't fight injustice without the right weapons, you know?"

"That's admirable," Yang said.

"We've bonded after a very heated discussion about the gender pay gap in class," Blake said.

"She's playing it down," Ilia said. "It was frightening. She was furious and I'm surprised that one guy ever dared to look her in the eyes again. She handed his ass to him, you should have seen it."

Blake blushed. "It wasn't actually that bad, but he had it coming. I don't regret anything I said that day. But anyway, that was the first time I really noticed Ilia. She was on my side during the whole discussion and afterwards she asked me if I wanted to go grab some coffee to calm down and vent about all the other idiots in our class."

"Yang and I don't have an exciting story to tell like you two," Coco said. "We went to High School together, sat next to each other in English class and just got along."

"I think it was history," Yang said.

"No, we sat together in history class a year later. Was it algebra?"

"We never had algebra together. I was in honours."

"I'll be right back," Blake said and got up.

Ilia looked at her for a moment before she got up as well. "Wait, I'll join you."

Yang looked after them for a moment. She sighed when they disappeared around the corner. When she looked at Coco she was smirking. "What do you think?" Yang asked.

"You guys are absolutely horrible. You can't sit there for one minute without touching each other, even while you're eating. You've moved so close together you could fit two more people on that bench."

Yang groaned and buried her face in her hands. "Okay, but do you like her? Please say you like her, because I think Ilia hates me."

"Of course I like her. She's absolutely adorable. And I don't think Ilia hates you."

"But she does."

"No. She's just cautious. I know people like her, she'll warm up to you."

Yang looked up. "This is honestly worse than anything I've ever done. I've never dated anyone who I just… I mean before I always knew them for a long time, I knew their friends, and I never had to seek anyone's approval. I didn't know it was that stressful."

"I mean she's hot."

"Blake?"

"No, Ilia." Coco shrugged and sipped on her milkshake. "I could get used to these double dates."

"It's not…" She shook her head. "Anyway. So you really like her?"

"Ilia?"

"No, Blake."

"I told you I do." She rolled her eyes like she always did when she actually wanted to smirk. "She's cute. I mean your ex set the bar really low, but you look happy when she's around."

Yang tried not to smile. "Yeah. Because I am."

"Have you told her about the… thing?"

"No." She looked down at her plate, shoving the last piece of cheesecake around so she didn't have to look at her. Around Blake the weird visions happened less often, but they kept happening, and if she thought about it the whole situation of meeting her like this was just weird. "I feel like… I mean if someone you had just met and started dating told you all this, wouldn't you think it's weird?"

"Yes, probably, I –" She stopped and when Yang looked up Blake and Ilia were coming back. Blake smiled at Yang when their eyes crossed, and she laid her hand on Yang's thigh beneath the table when she sat down next to her.

"I left you some cake," Yang said and took her hand in hers.

"You're the best." Blake squeezed her hand.

"I feel like I should have tried one of those milkshakes," Ilia said, eying Coco's glass.

Coco slid the glass towards her across the table. "Wanna try?"

"Yeah, sure."

Yang looked at Blake, but she only smirked, her thumb stroking the back of her hand. It was hard to worry about anything when she smiled like that.

* * *

The darkness is scary, but light is scarier. I feel her shake next to me while we try to control our breath and listen to his footsteps out there. She grips my hand so tightly that it hurts, but I don't ever want her to let go.

I hate hiding. It goes against everything I am, and I want to go out there and confront him, fight him, do something. But I also know that he has a gun and that it would be insanely stupid to get in his way. So we hide. Wait for the police to come. Hope they will make it in time.

The footsteps come closer. I don't even dare to breathe. Her grip is so tight my hands starts to feel numb.

The footsteps stop.

The door opens. Light is so much scarier than darkness. He can see us in the light.

"Yang?"

She didn't know where she was at first. It was dark and the fear still lingered deep inside of her chest, making it hard to breathe. She sat up and reached for the light switch, but she couldn't find it at first.

"Yang, are you alright?" Blake whispered next to her.

She was in her bed. It had only been one of those weird visions. Blake was lying next to her, Pyrrha in the bed across the room, and nothing bad would happen. She was safe.

"Just had a nightmare," Yang whispered and lied back down next to Blake. Blake wrapping her arms around her was comforting, and she finally felt like she could breathe again when she buried her face in Blake's shirt, breathing in her scent. She wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her closer.

"Yeah, you suddenly… I don't know, flinched. I figured. What was it about?"

"I don't remember," Yang lied. "Just that it was bad."

"I can stay up if you want, distract you." Her hand soothingly ran up and down her back.

"No, it's fine. Let's just sleep, okay?"

She kissed Yang's forehead. "Okay."

Yang didn't even want to fall back to sleep, but she also didn't want to talk about it, and she didn't want to keep Blake up. She just wanted to stop being scared. She had pushed any second thought about the visions aside ever since starting to date Blake, but right now she wondered if she really should be worried. So far they had all been pleasant, but this one was something she never wanted to experience again, and she had no control over when, how often and if they happened.

Maybe she had to face the fact that something was wrong with her.

* * *

"There's nothing wrong with you," Doctor Goodwitch. "The scan looks totally fine."

"Are you sure?" Yang stared at the black and white image in front of her. It was weird to think that this was actually her brain. "I've heard you can have very small brain tumours that you can't see on scans."

"You don't have a brain tumour." She adjusted her glasses. "Try to drink more water. I'll give you a prescription for the headaches and recommend seeing a psychologist, a lot of college students are just too stressed."

"I guess I'll just try that drinking water thing," Yang said. "But thanks."

"Well, be glad your mother's insurance paid for this."

At least she didn't have a brain tumour. But all she could thing about on the bus ride home was that she still didn't know what the hell was wrong with her. It freaked her out, more than she even wanted to admit to herself, but telling the doctor about the visions straight away held the risk of being assigned to a psychiatric ward right away.

She was still early for her lecture. She sat down in the back row and checked her phone, but Blake was stuck in classes all day and hadn't found time to text her yet. She scrolled through her social media to distract herself, going through some of the latest outfits Coco had posted online.

"Hey, darling."

She looked up and wished she hadn't. "Adam."

"What are you doing?" He was standing in the row in front of her, leaning against the tables behind him.

"What are you doing here? You don't have this lecture."

He shrugged. "Just saw you through the open door. How are you?"

"Wonderful."

"Me too. Classes keep me busy, but not too busy, and I just quit my job because the boss was shitty. I feel like we haven't talked in ages. How about I take you out on coffee whenever you're free?"

Sometimes she asked herself how she had ever had any doubt about breaking up with him. "I'm actually really busy at the moment."

"Too busy for half an hour with me?" He smirked at her and she wished she didn't feel as uncomfortable around him anymore.

Her phone buzzed. She looked at the screen and Amber's name appeared. "I gotta answer this", she said and picked the phone up.

"Who is it?" he asked.

Yang answered the call instead. "Hey, mum", she said.

"Hey, sweetie," Amber said. Adam raised his eyebrows, but then he formed a silent I'll call you and turned around to leave. It felt more like a threat. "I just got a call from my insurance. Did you get a CT scan for your head?"

"Yeah," Yang said, watching Adam leave. "The doctor said the insurance will cover for it."

"Yeah, they do, I just wanted to ask if everything is alright."

"Yes. I just had some headaches and freaked out over it, but the doctor said I'm fine. It's probably just stress."

"Don't overdo it. I always told you to take it easy if you have to. Anyway, how is it going?"

"Great." She didn't know what else to say, because she hadn't told her parents about Blake yet. "How are you doing? Is mum anywhere around?"

"No, Vernal is at work. I'll tell her you said hello. We're good. Still really thinking about moving back to the city, I think the suburban lifestyle is great when you have kids, but not when you're two lesbians slowly about to become catladies who enjoy crocheting toilet paper covers."

"If you do that I will deny knowing you."

She laughed. "Yeah, I'll probably deny knowing myself. I mean there are nice little apartments in the city, we could either keep our house for the weekends or sell it, but right now we're just talking."

The thought of saying goodbye to the house she had grown up in scared her, but this was something to discuss in person. "What about the cats though?"

"Yeah, that's something to consider as well. Anyway, we'll keep you updated."

"I think my lecture starts soon. I'll call you this weekend, okay?"

"Yeah, please do. Have a good time and try not to stress yourself too much, okay?"

"I will. Love you, bye!"

The room slowly started to fill up. Yang tried to fight the feeling of unease that the visions, the nightmare, the doctor's appointment and Adam had left inside of her. She had always been bad at that. She sighed and opened the selfie she had taken with Blake a couple of days prior. It helped a bit.


End file.
